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User blog:Cilindar/How to be a Slav
File:Hello Fellow Gopniks and Dizelaš welcome to this Fellow shitpost made by your Slavic friend:Cilindar Being a slav is not easy and this also applies on how to be one.Life of Slav is very difficult and it is not always about listening to Hardbass and squatting while drinking Vodka or Rakija. So today this slav called Cilindar will teach you how to be a true Slav. Whats a Slav? If you are a western idiot sitting their and thinking "Hey what the hell is a Slav" well then you can not become one but i will teach you anyways. Slavs are an ethnic group that exist all over the world and the biggest ethnic groups in Europe are Slavs. Here is a list of all the Slavic Nations in the world! (In no specific order) * Russia * Serbia * Belarus * Poland * Ukraine * Czechia * Slovakia * Croatia * Slovenia (They are sometimes traitors because they want to be Germanic,Why?!) * Bosnia (They mostly Kebab slav) * Bulgaria (A minority of them are Thracians) * Macedonia * Montenegro * Liberland (They only Micronation but one day they will be real stronk country) * Sorbs (They need independence) So these are slavs basically and if your nationality is one of these and you dont know what a slav is... Yuo are of big disgrace. How to be one If you watch true slavic youtubers like LifeOfBoris and you really want to be a slav then you came to the right place. To be a slav well you simply have to be one of those nationalities above,if your not... well... to bad. But what if your not slav and you really want to be a slav? Well My friend you must check these things before you want to be a slav. *Your baba or babushka has religious stuff around her house *Your closet has more adidas products then other clothing brands *Your fridge is packed with food *Squatting is a slavic excersise and you must do it 10 times everytime you wake up,in the afternoon and when your going to bed *When you turn 10 or 11 you must drink Rakija and once your 15 or 14 you must drink vodka trust me i did it,it is an ancient slavic tradition *You must love your history and never forget it *You must get good grades at school and go to university but if you dont care about your parents srceaming or hitting you then go to streets and become Gopnik or dizlas *You eat and have slavic food *You must love soccer and any sport except netball or footy *You beep your car horn everytime you leave someones house *You use Ajvar instead nutella for breakfast *All the music on your radio has slavic singers *When your favourite slavic song comes out on the radio you turn the volume to maximum *You keep the lights on at your house every time you leave *you subscribed to LifeOfBoris *You hate Kebab except your bosnian brothers *You hate your neighbouring slavic countries *you like war and genocide *you like trump *you hate clinton *you hate imperialists *And your communist (Seriously every slavic country was once communist) *Your baba or babuska is strong *Your either Orthodox,Catholic or kebab *You must always respect your elders *You listen to Hardbass ,Remove kebab ,Crni bombardar ,Katyusha ,Kalinka and uzicko colo If all these nthings apply you officially are a true slav Cilindar approved. Category:Blog posts